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Terp fans were upset after UMD’s loss against Purdue this Saturday, primarily due to the seemingly unfair calls made by the referees at two critical points of the game. However, rumors such as bias and corruption in the refs were recently put to rest by the referees’ lawyer, Saul Goodman.

“Look man, I don’t know what you’re going on about. Seems to me like you guys got a case of the whines,” said Goodman, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen more fair and impartial referees outside of the Geneva Convention. So why don’t you go grab a juice box and go cry on home, eh?”

However, many fans are still skeptical about the impartiality of the referees at the game, with many corroborating reports claiming the refs weren’t looking at the jumbotron replaying a clear encroachment that cost the Terps a field goal. Video footage indicated they were too busy shoving copious amounts of cash into their pockets.

Other reports claim the refs cheered whenever Purdue scored a touchdown and tripped UMD running backs. Another showed video evidence of Purdue coach Jeff Brohm giving head to one of the referees shortly before the game. However, much of this evidence vanished mysteriously before it could come to light.

Goodman has also come with his fair share of controversy, owing to his seeming involvement in the death of crystal meth kingpin Gustavo Fring last Thursday. We intended on asking Goodman about his involvement in the Albuquerque drug crisis after the game, but were declined when an older bald man with a white goatee stopped us and claimed “If you bumbling idiots keep poking your noses in this shit, I’m gonna have to break your kneecaps.”

Image Credits: Joseph Kleinman